Expressing good things in an unexpected way

I love discovery, of the world, of interesting people, and of myself. I love the way a great book can take me somewhere believable that I have never been, and introduce me to new feelings and ideas. I especially love when the world around me looks deeper, as I find something good and valuable in the commonplace and mundane, like it was hidden there waiting for me. I wish I knew how to hold onto those things, to soak myself in them. I don't . I am not a great writer, and I don't know how to express all of my deep feelings. I try, through my graphic novel, and it gets as close I can to expressing my experience of those wonderful things, but in the end, it is just the memory of the experience itself that I have left.
With my book, I am trying to express the good that I find, the meaningful and worthwhile and loving things, and I try to wrap it up like a surprise, so it can stand out. At the center of the creative process, there is that moment when you twist something, and it becomes your own. That is a magical place, a moment of completeness, warm and exciting.
I know that those wonders are surrounded by problems, struggles, boredom and mind numbing business. They stand out all the more by comparison. But as I finish a page, and focus on the story of a strange robot boy and his weird, magical friends, I feel some of that worth, in myself, and in the expression of the story.
It is wonderful!
If it doesn't come across in my awkward pages, rotten writing and unskilled art, at least I get that feeling, that I am expressing it the best I know how.

Multiple Posting the novel

I have put the entire first chapter of my story on Tumblr, and much of it on DeviantArt. No one has looked at it yet, on either site. Good thing I am patient. See how long they can go unseen.

An insert on Destruction

Originally blogged on March 6, 2014 at 6:13 pm on the bus.

An insert on destruction

A little philosophy, straight from the author, Some things that I feel so strongly about, I illustrate them in the experiences of Uendyr . . . 

Destruction is easy, and mostly useless.  There is a lie going around in my society. The youth are especially susceptible to it. It is that explosions are cool, hurting things is powerful, and war is glamorous. The action movie tries to sell it, under the premise that the good guy is showing courage, and altruism. Or not. 

I subscribe to a different point of view. Creation is harder, more full of interesting challenges, and ends up with something of worth to show for itself. It's not about hate, or greed or competition, and it's not mean. Besides that, it is a load of fun, and I learn from the process constantly. It is progressive, enlightening, and it makes a great framework for my story. 

Now I must admit, my little knight errant will encounter destruction, in order to learn this power of creativity. Opposites lead to understanding. His reactions may appear wimpy or wise to you, depending on your point of view, since he doesn't carry a weapon, attack people or throw bombs. But as the plot progresses, I hope you will see the wisdom in creativity and kindness. That takes courage too.  The one value I see to destruction is the same purpose as the eraser. Make room for practice to be replaced by refinements. Make room for good solutions to be replaced by great ones. With good use of recycling.  

What do you choose? Creation or Destruction? 

Creativity cannot be a machine

Originally posted on my graphic novel site in November 2013.

Creativity cannot be a machine

You may have noticed the subtitle to this book: The Creativity Machine. You may already know a lot about the process, and you may have said, “Creativity can’t be made in a machine!”

But you continue reading, so you must have been snagged by the idea. Can creativity be easier than you think?

There are many myths about creativity. One is that it is exclusive, that some have it and some don’t. This is one of the things I am making this book to reject. Uendyr doesn’t even seem to be acting creatively in the beginning, and a robot is certainly not a new idea. Neither is virtual reality, or an island of dreams, or crabs, ships, ghosts or cats. The point isn’t that every detail is new, it is the way you mix it. Creativity is a lifestyle, a way of thinking, including gathering what you already have and know, then deliberately changing it.

So, it’s not that the machine is creative, it is that within the mind of the operator processing details with the machine, there is a determination to find new things in the mix. Take out that part of the activity, and you have a simple production process, used to take raw materials and follow a process to make it into something. Any robot can strictly follow a process. This robot isn’t just a robot though.

To use the art and wonder of choice in a process is the heart of creativity. Sometimes we humans act like robots, stick in a box. There is an opportunity to break out, and be more.

So pick up the Robot’s gauntlet, as it were, take up a project and put it through the machine of your human mind, eyes, hands, and any tool that suits it! Then make choices to deliberately make something new and uniquely your own.

Why Mythology

This was written for my graphic novel blog, June 2014. I put it up here because my other blog was hacked, and is now inaccessible.

Why Mythology

My book, from the beginning, has not been merely an interaction of costumed people, with things, in places. It has been heavily laden with my personal life and philosophies, but twisted, like many of my dreams, to hold the meaning without being literal. It has also built itself naturally, without me forcing it into existence. Everyone in it represents someone I have known, but pushed further, and made into a symbol, an archetype. Even before I had a workable plot, I had these pieces of ideas, many times inspired from my own dreams, that became part of my reasoning with existence in this mortal world. In reality, there is a rhythm of exciting and mundane, catharsis and boredome. I found that the best times are very hard to record, or even remember accurately, but my stories and pictures could return me to those creative, emotionally lively and meaning laden places.

I love mythology. Not to replace true beliefs or faith, but to supplement my way of expressing the complex nature and interactive meanings of life. I have an artist’s view of living, even if I am too impatient to make great looking art. I think most people have a scaled down version of personal mythology, in which they are putting a map of their life together, to help them understand the weird, confusing and sublime. I am just more deliberate at making or recording mine. There is a power to collecting dreams, and evaluating their meaning. It’s those underneath layers where the symbols lie, where meaning is found, where legend and myth connect with purpose and passion.

Example

The two rooms near the beginning, before Uendyr jumps through the portal, represent Chaos and Order. When I was a teen, I was constantly drawing and writing, then finding myself surrounded by the mess that happened by being disorganized about those writings.

Radalus is a guide for order, and Chaos has no guide . . . imagine that. Chaos is a full, dangerous, confusing and dark place, inspired by my grandmother’s basement, which you have to work through to find the history, the understanding, the practicality and the order. It’s full of potential, needing development. I see the same in the mess of ideas I collected for years for this book. That Chaos place comes first, and provides the material and the mystery for the order that comes later.

The White room of order is like a museum, where the strange things are given a space to be evaluated, one at a time, and changed from a puzzle to a complete picture. Radalus helps Uendyr understand what is happening, a voice of reason necessary for order. He is like the curator to the museum of the mind. He is also the imagination that sees the potential and the whimsical purpose that comes from all of that raw material.

Then he gives Uendyr choices. Uendyr’s reason for choosing to jump is fear – the first, from the gut reason. Not the best reason, but still leading to the next step. He will find further, better reasons later, but it’s good to see why you do things, and recognize your motivation. I identify quite a lot with Uendyr in his decisions. I wasn’t very deliberate in the beginning either.

There is an example of my personal mythology. I used it throughout this book.

Crash

Someone hacked my web comic site, and it is down.
Unfortunately, I can't fix it, so I am moving the whole thing to Tumblr.
Not sure how it happened, and I am very disappointed, because some of my writing is lost forever.

I am living what I believe, getting up, and getting going again. That is the only creative thing to do.

Unusual Reasons

I tried to count the reasons for me to make a graphic novel. There are lots of expected reasons, like wanting to tell a story, increase exposure and art and writing skills, make new friends, and express myself. From there I found a few unusual or weird reasons. I have made this list many times before, at times when I was going to give up on it, or better, when I discovered something about myself. My somewhat unique story brings me to see my life differently, with purposes.
Here are some of the unusual reasons;

1. Making friends, then modifying them into deeper characters by associating them with real people, such as my own children. Many of the characters are based on people I've known, and usually their a composite of a few people.

2. Use a graphic novel to actually teach, or demonstrate something. I'm a graphic designer at an e-learning company during the day, and I sometimes struggle to find a creative solution. When I saw that I needed a plot with clear reasons for pressing forward, I saw that my story already mostly fit with the process of creativity. It was meant to be.

3. Use my piles of designs and writings for one big epic, but break it down so I can express each piece in an order. So I am analyzing things that I like, and collecting them in a shareable format, with bite-sized pieces.

4. Indulge my need to make deliberate choices and reasons in a creative project, so that I can teach myself how to make a graphic novel. Also, to refine my style.

It is great fun, and gets me excited everyday.

Comic online

You can now see my comic on this site, as well as online, at www.sproctacle.smoochbelly.com.
See the robot head in the left bar on this site?
Click it, and you can see the first few pages, plus the opening poster cover.
I am excited to put it up, finally, but I am not trying to advertise yet, because it has been too difficult to post every Friday. I also want to get consistencies worked out before a general viewing. It is mostly done, but I'm running into programming issues.

Enjoy!

Graphic Novel Apologies

There are several realizations I have had recently, about making a graphic novel. First is that I have never made one, and I am trying to figure out how. It humbles me, but not enough to stop. Despite my weakness, I am driven to tell the story that is in me.

As I see the graphic novels made by artists who have done this many times, mine is unsophisticated in style, and rushed. But to me, the story is wonderful, and must be told. I am getting older, and don't have moments to waste.

I chose to switch from a typical book because I am a visual thinker. I don't have enough interest in writing to refine the craft, and I know that I am terrible at dialogue. My speech bubbles betray me. I imagine people who know how to really write cringe at my mistakes in grammar, pacing, and awkwardly worded phrases. In all of this I am practicing.

I have a lot to express, and I feel rushed to get it out. The whole story Is mostly in my head, through eight chapters, and It could take me to 60 years old to finish it at my current rate. So I leave things unrefined and lacking in sophistication. I rely on the dark outlines to mask my impatience and lack of skill, and any refinement in them is a happy accident. I am indebted to Adobe Illustrator for the joy of the tapered line.

Nevertheless, I am pressing ahead. There is worthwhile meaning despite my weakness, and I know that Uendyr's search for meaning and creativity is just a shadow of mine, in which I haven't found all the answers; I just see the enormous size of potential there, and want to be a part of it. The Isle Obscura is a real place, where I go all the time simply by imagining it, and seeing my real life reflected in it. I dream myself there in the night, and it is always changing. Whenever I meet an artistic friend, I meet a traveller to that island. It is big enough for everyone to fit, even people who work hard at something uncreative. It is full of meaning because I look for meaning there. I don't just vacation there, I work there, and I take whatever I discover that has truth in it with me. The Isle is full of open minded children, and people with a passion to make something, to express something from inside themselves, to make dreams real.

It's all about courage to find meaning and make choices. That's what life is. I pretend like a child so that I can keep my optimism, and yet I keep going to work, to church, and home again, with a sense of purpose, because I bring the meaning back with me, and use it to live.

If that is too wordy for you, then to sum it up; I find happiness making a graphic novel, and I hope others can find happiness enjoying the meaningful journey with me.

And you can see why I don't use my real name. There is a limit to my courage. I lead a simple life, which is still as packed with interest and requirements as I can manage. My story is going out there either way, but as much as possible I'm staying behind.

Comic book online

My brother Mike suggested that I should use his space to put my comic book online, so that I can develop it in the format to view on an iPad with double page spreads. I read a great online comic that was done that way, ReMind.

So, about ten weeks ago I put up the first cover, and almost every week I have contributed a spread, on Fridays. It is challenging to meet the deadline many weeks, but very rewarding to see it grow.
It is at www.sproctacle.smoochbelly.com.

I got my first comment online about it, from China. It was at a massage company. Not sure what that means. I'm not trying to get lots of people to see it yet. Just being timid I guess.

The first page spreads for Uendyr: The Creativity Machine, is at www.sproctacle.smoochbelly.com. I put it online with Comicpress. Easy and satisfying, like a fried egg.